Solitude

We are so afraid to be alone. I guess man is social so being alone is unnatural. Hence maybe its justified to be bad at it and not worry about the fact so much.

But being able to be alone, I mean the kind of alone where you enjoy your meals alone, where you like to sip your coffee alone, where your shopping is alone and even where watching a movie alone is just so much more enjoyable that the burden of company. Yes, considering company as a burden maybe a personal choice but I will still argue that the ones who take company in their stride and prefer it to do everything in pairs or groups give up on so much.

The burden of companionship wastes time. It is unlikely that your plans for a day fit perfectly with someone else's. Right! So to make companionship work, you give up on some tasks to be done another day.

Companionship promotes conformism; it does not allow you to think independently and challenge the system. Lets face it, with acquaintances, one wants to be polite and accomodating thereby putting up a amenable non-challenging demeanor. And with close friends and partners, the best case scenario is most likely an agreement to disagree.

Being able to function independently helps at work too. Offices, especially the big ones have politics intermingled in the system. One tends to gravitate towards groups where one feels better companionship. However, you never know when that group gets into dark waters and when other groups rise up. Being someone who can mingle with all yet stay away from all as well is bound to be beneficial.

The key here is not to be a solitary introvert. People are very important to offload thoughts and have discussions. But at the same time remember that there is a wonderful person that is waiting in line to hear your thoughts too.... You!

Naive ..

Oh I wish I could be young and naive again.

I wish I could listen to my national anthem and feel pride at being an Indian. But I dont. I reflect and realize that its just a country like many others. I reflect and realize that patriotism is a ruse to keep a society involved and controlled. People who know better, if they could, would sell the country and go live in luxury somewhere else.

I wish I could pray and feel pride in being a Hindu. I dont. I realize that it too is just a religion like several others. It too is a medium to keep society in check. Priests, rich pundits and others who know better, will sell off amulets and promises of happiness (Sri Sri Sai Baba). People who know better will sell yoga and move into politics thereafter.

I haven't paid my road tax in AP yet. So every traffic policeman is a potential problem. However, I wish I could beleive in the system and respect the law believing that each traffic policeman feels pride in upholding the law. But I know better. Poor salaries, cheap living and a pestering family is what a policeman returns home too. Is he stopping my car to uphold the law? Are you kidding me? He just wants to get those 200 bucks off me and let me go.

I wish I was more naive ....

Hyderabad Runners

I am trying to find groups that run. I have spent more time cribbing and less time searching it seems.

Hyderabad Runners seems to offer some hope. They run long and hard. However, they run early mornings on Sunday. Which means that you can kiss the saturday night revelries goodbye.

Hopefully I'll be able to forge some friendships and convince a smaller set to run in the evenings, or better still late in the night when you really don't know what to do after work. Yes, I have a job that allows me that luxury, go figure :)

Evenings (contd.) ....

I am sorry. I am on a bus back to my home city of the near future and I cant let go of the topic so easily.

So. What else does one do to pass the countless hours that he gets of spare time? One of them, in his last innings, he had discovered was to spend time with family. The experience is mentally very relaxing and certainly doesn't leave you with the guilt that pursuing some of the other pasttimes may give you. But then, you need to be lucky enough to be in a city where you find some family close by. It is typically not the case :(

There are some who are avid talkers. The absence of the person in flesh does not deter them either. These people spend time talking to others, geography and continent no barrier, over the phone or through skype and chat. And any reasonable, normal person (to which set, unfortunately this bachelor does not belong to) would typically have a set of good friends who love conversation over digital medium. So that is another activity that can be pursued.

Evenings ....

Ok things are much more settled now. Its been two weeks into the job and two weeks setting up stuff at home.

Most of the essentials are in place. The poster remains, the cushion covers remain. But things that make the day go smoothly have been bought. The current cash flow crunch will keep the remaining items out of reach for the near future (aka the fridge and the dining table).

But now that things are settled, the evenings come to bite at you. I cant help but get a feeling of deja vu. I have done something similar 5 years back when I got out of IIT. I may have become older, and more sensitive of the heat and the filth that surrounds me, but the question of what to do in the evenings still remains!

What does one do? Rather what does a bachelor who has gotten out of a relationship do? Women are of no immediate interest. Unfortunately, the bachelor is an Indian, and never had the chance to passionately follow a pursuit, music or arts wise, so there is no hope there.

Yes there are millions of movies to see. But the good ones are unfortunately out of easy reach. The international favorites, the winners of Cannes awards (other than Lagaan and Amelie), the Sundance nominees and similar such thought provoking masterpeices will never be found in the local DVD rental store.

Yes, there are billions of books to be read. But unfortunately for the Indian bachelor, he was not enough of a nerd to live off them completely. He can pick up one to curl up with in the late hours of the evening. However, they cant be the only thing he does to pass his time.

Yes, there are runs to be run, but where does this Indian bachelor find the people who run slow and for hours. Its easy to find the casual runner in our godforsaken 'metros' but how do you find the ones that push themselves. And this Indian bachelor is very picky about them as well. He wants not only them to be able to run for hours, he also wants them to be smart enough to talk to. After all, long distance running is a lonely affair and the company of a sensible, intriguing individual makes all the difference.

Yes, there are tonnes of TV series that are there to be consumed. But this bachelor has a mental block against them. He scoffs at people who come back home excited to watch the next episode of some stupid make-believe series. How will he face himself in the mirror if he becomes one of them?!

Yes, people who know the rants of this bachelor will come back and tell him that he can go ahead and 'learn' something. This is what the bachelor himself suggested to a lot of people when he was at the verge of finishing up his MBA. But, its not as easy as it sounds! There are several barriers to entry. The timings are conducive to the college student but certainly not to a working professional. Then there is thr problem of choosing what to pursue. The choice is very important since it decides whether the person will push himself against the blaring traffic, sweaty painful commute and a tired body to go for that hour long class in the evening.

Of course, the bachelor is leaving out the worthless pursuits that several of his batchmates will eventually conform to. This includes evening dinners and chit-chat under the pretext of exploring the wonderful, oily, filty, overpriced cuisines that the city has to offer.

The bachelor also leaves out the weekend excursions that some of his more adventurous friends may pursue. To this, he does not scoff. But he realizes that travel is actually an excuse to spend hours and hours with a set of friends and enjoy conversation and going-ons. In his experience, the conversations that fill the hours of travelling are actually what people cherish a lot along with the beauty of the destination. Even the beauty of the destination offers ripe material for which another set of conversations can be based on. And if the bachelor is fortunate to have such a set of wonderful friends to begin with, then why would he travel with them far and wide. He would just sit with them in a decent bar and use alcohol as the stimulus of conversation!

Which reminds the bachelor of another lingering grievance, the absence of good, sophisticated places to drink in the Indian 'metros' that dont suck the living daylights out of your wallet! But that is a rant for another day .....

The roads that kill my car

The roads are indeed a killer in India. They are the cause of so many deaths, the sum-total far surpassing major diseases and habits such as diabetes and smoking.

However, they are a killer of cars as well. I own a maruti 800. An old maruti 800. The kind of maruti 800's they used to make in 2004. No power windows, no power steering and no AC. I love my car just as much as the next person which is why it pains me to see how the roads in India kill it slowly and progressively while I watch helplessly.

I do not attempt to be comprehensive since I am bound to miss some silent killers that only a few unfortunate menfolk (womenfolk) cars are exposed to. But the usual offenders are mentioned. The first are the manholes. Imagine a newly paved, beautiful stretch of grey beautiful road and you speeding across it behind another car. You suddenly see it veering to the right and you wonder why. And in a millisecond, you know why as a circular depression, which should be called a 'well' rather than a manhole presents itself, beaming sheepishly at the next victim that is coming its way. Whump!! There go 2 years off my shock absorbers!

Then there are the speed breakers. You dont come across them in the developed nations. Why you ask? Well, since speed limits are very strictly enforced, and people are just more civilized. But in India, we believe that you cant have enough of them. I mean,  plain stretch of road that you can potentially navigate without a single gear change? How boring is that! And the shapes and sizes that they come in are a treat in itself. My maruti particularly enjoys it as they really huge ones gently kiss its underside as I make a failed attempt to gently, slowly, unsuspectingly pass over them. Two years knocked off the chassis!

Amongst the international greats are of course, the potholes. These cancers of the road can appear anywhere and left unattended grow and swell to sizes that are disasterous to the vehicle. They do their best work after a hefty downpour when they are conveniently hidden from the driver's eye under the veil of water. Whump! Splash! Two years off the tyres, shock-absorbers and god-knows-what other parts.

And then there are several more that I don't have the patience or the heart to mention ...