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So long ... 

Eulogy

She passes away..

It was expected to happen. But to have happened so soon was unanticipated. We reached back to Patna after a month of dissapointments and dead-ends on the 11th of September. Today is the 17th ...

When the eventuality was presented to her, she asked the doctor in jest whether she had at least a week to live. She wanted to clean up the house and get things in order before she moved on. Six days were all that were given from above.

She was a gentle woman in a house of hardened men. She was the sound of irrationality, of humanness, amongst men of reason and rationality. We raised our voices and she used to back down. So as her sons grew older, they used to raise it often. She craved a hug, a touch. But we seldom obliged her. In the final weeks, her sighs of relief and comfort as I pressed her aching, immobile legs and arms reminded me of the years lost when we hadnt.

She tried her hand at reconciliation amongst the menfolk. She reminded everyone of the humanness of human relations. We didn't understand what she was talking about. Men probably don't get these things.

Of all her facets, the artist was the one that shone the most. Wood, Metal, Ivory, Plastic, Glass, Wire, Cotton and the Canvas - all were her medium of expression. However, cloth was what she felt most at home with in the later part of her life. Sarees and Kurtas were her canvas. The paintbrushes and the sewing machine were her faithful workmen.

She was a woman content with what she had. In fact, the allure of food or the allure of luxury  were both concepts that she couldn't appreciate. Maybe the real artists never can. Their world is their studio. And our home was exactly that. A studio of odds and ends which found their way into a painting, a mural or a dress. Their owner has abandoned them ...

Ill health was a constant, unrelenting companion for her. A new bride with a toddler in hand, she managed a husband whose kidneys almost gave way when he was 27. His epilepsy and episodic fits were a part of daily life. TB came to haunt her in england when she was 36. Her son suffered from a slipped disk when she was 42 and the referred pain chased him for years until his spine was stretched in place on a stretcher for a month. Cancer reared its ugly head when she was 48. Spondilitis hit her husband soon after, forcing him and her to adopt a regular and aggressive health regimen. In spite of it, her gall bladder gave way when she was 53. And finally cancer relapsed in 2010 and then soon thereafter in 2011.

As we ducked and hid from the inevitable, going through the phases of greif, she remained composed and accepting of her fate. She wished for a quick and painless demise and she was obliged by the one above...

May she help him paint the stars and rainbows now ...

Sharing an apartment ...

Sharing an apartment with bachelors is sharing an apartment with bachelors, whether you are straight out of an engineering school or of a business school.

The cleaning lady comes at 8am, cleans the utensils. The cook comes in at 9am and dirties all of them. The filthy utensils lie all day until evening when the cook returns and selectively cleans a few for the evening dinner. The newly dirty, and the previously dirty ones sit overnight in a clogged sink discussing indian politics.

No one wants or cares to register for cooking gas. Instead, we subscribe to cylinders twice the price and four-fifth the standard quantity.

Everyone likes to download movies and stream movies all the time, clogging the bandwidth for others.

One of us likes to micromanage and tease the cleaning lady for the extra 200 bucks (50 per person charge to us, mind you) of pay.

One of us complains of people being irresponsible and inconsiderate, but chooses to leave his crumpled pile of clothes in the living room.

Some of us wash our clothes only to realize that the clothesline is already full with someone else's damp clothes.

One of us doesn't believe in polythenes (Rs 2 per polybag is expensive it seems), so prefers to throw wet garbage directly in the plastic dustbin for it to rot and stick to the bottom.

One of us wants home-cooked food at all times, some of us want it two times a day, and some dont want to go through the hassle at all.

One of us has a voice of a fog horn and chooses to exercise his vocal chords at 2 in the night.

Payment of water, electricity and other utilities falls through the cracks. No one chooses to take responsibility for after all, there are 3 others who might.

And there is so much more ....

At the moment ...

Life is tough now ... 

There are thoughts, several of them .... 

Can't sew them together in a post .... 

What constitutes life ...

- Watching music videos
- Contemporary non-fiction
- Working out
- Coffee in solitude (in a bright bustling location)
- People watching ....
- Chess
- Crosswords
- Economist
- Movies (sometimes)
- Conversation about existence, social constructs, life ...
- xkcd, abstrusegoose

Where to go ..

I have heard the argument about the richness of the cultures in the east versus the ones of the west ever so often. But, from the perspective of an ordinary working man, looking towards the world to find a good country to settle in, this argument has a lot of bearing.

As I move through life as a working professional, I come across several problems that countries in the developing world will take eons to overcome. Customer service, standard of living, respect, manners etc. are higher order things that are foolish to expect in nations where clean drinking water is not available to all.

Hence I look around to find a country where I might want to spend the summers and winters of my middle age. I have travelled and lived in several developed countries and there is no doubt that the US is the easiest to go and settle in. But why? Well, 'they have a lot of tolerance to outsiders' is the common explanation. But why is that? Well, since they have a very simple, almost non-existent cultural history. Most of the culture is metropolitan, modern which is almost similar to metros in other countries as well. Hence, easy transportability and adaptability. I feel that the argument can be partly tranlated to the other side of the world - Australia and New Zealand.

Europe is a tougher area to adapt in. Precisely because they have social customs that are older, and would require a concious, forced attempt by an outsider to adapt and adopt to. The serenades of Spain, the family bonds of italy, the naked saunas of Finland or the sincere hardworking culture of Germany are things that have no logical reason for existence but have been passed through generations. One can argue that one need not adopt them and just be an outsider who lives in that country. But that just saps the juice out of living at a place. I am looking at a time-span of around 30 years of life in such a location. Not adapting to the system is not an option.

And discussing the east is just belaboring the point. If the culture of europe was not a bottleneck enough, the customs of food and drink of the east coupled with a strong culture of their own are much much more of a deterrent. There are developed countries there as well - S. Korea, Taiwan, Japan. But, it takes a special kind of constitution to adapt to eating raw octopus and snails for lunch. And neither does one wish to raise a family in a country with a questionably healthy (?) and socially accepted appetite for pornography.

The journey more than the destination

Travel is a great antidote of ADHD. Tonight I travel from Hyderabad to Banglore in a bus.

People ask me why I didnt take a plane. Am I cheap? Maybe :) But in reality, and I speak with several years of travelling alone, the experience is like no other. A train or a bus bring you so close to the road with no need to concentrate on keeping the damn vehicle going.

I sit still in my comfortable semi-sleeper chair and compose this post listening to a few music videos on the side. Its not pitch black outside even though there are no street lights on the road since the occasional village houses on the road keep their porch (?)lights on at night.

The road seems so much nicer than the city. As the bus rolled in through the bylanes of Hyderabad, to miserably attempt to fill the seats with any tom-dick-and-harry with enough cash (some probabaly didnt even want to go to banglore), you see dogs and men sleeping on the same pavement. Yes, nothing new, nothing novel. But that is why the road seems so much nicer. You dont see this misery on the open expanse of the road. Even if you do, it passes by so quickly, that you hardly get any time to register it.

What you see is a lot of green and a lot of freshness of the shrubbery. And what you sit in is a well air conditioned cabin from which to observe it. Who wouldn't enjoy it?

A purposeful malady

I have an ailing mother in the hospital currently and we are struggling to find a diagnosis for her disease. She is an old cancer patient and the prospect of its relapse is very disconcerting

As an attendant, I try to rationalize with her rather than make empty promises because they dont give any peace to anyone - her or me. I asked her plainly and simply the other day whether she looks forward to further life? Surreal, yes. But I feel its an important question to point out to the patient psychologically that there is merit in withstanding the current pain for a brighter tomorrow. However, it backfired since she replied in the negative. She said that there was really not much to look forward to anymore. If she were to pass by without any pain, she will still be ok.

Quite depressing. Yes. But you could justify through some hoops of arguments that a housewife of 60 living in a small shanty town (Patna) probably does not have any unfinished achievement to aspire towards that might hold life dear to her.

But then that makes me think of the individual of 28 that writes this column and the friends surrounding him. After having ticked all the degrees in the checklist, and after having settled down to a job that covers the bills and funds the occasional travel, what ties him to existence?

Yes, maybe I am especially twisted since I am picky about socialization. But even the social butterfly of a friend of mine, who spends evenings soaked in alcohol does not have a goal. Even the travel freak who enjoys stays on treetops in a godforsaken jungle for days on end does not really have a goal. I argue that the burden of existence is so great that just running away from boredom is a full time activity in itself. After all, boozing and partying is not about an academic interest in the varieties of alcohol, its just a way to pass time in a fun way. Similarly, travelling, with all empty arguments of expansion of the mind etc etc, is not to chronicle the experiences in a travel journal.. its just a way to please ones own senses - visual, taste, nasal or physical.

I think two socially applauded ways people run away from boredom are work and marriage. Social constructs support both pursuits very well. But I think people who glorify work or their spouse's life as a goal in itself are just blissfully unaware that they are just puppets.

This discussion ties in to the patient mentioned above since I had to rush the last weekend to be at her side. And I realized after a day or two that there was actually nothing better that I could think of doing over the weekend if were free, than being there. I am not talking about a filial obligation. I am actually saying that the sense of purpose was so much more being there than anything else I might have done over the free days I had. Now that I am back, and I try to list what I can do with today's evening or the days to come, I unsurprisingly fall short of anything worthwhile that is not an excuse to cut through boredom.

I wish everyone well - them and their family. But if there are those few who find it tough to spend time when someone close gets sick, I would ask them to ask themselves if they really really have anything else to do that is not just a ruse to run away from boredom. If no, then be there for the patient. But if yes, indeed there is a non-anti-boredom goal that you need to suspend for being there, feel happy that your goal is truly worthwhile having been evaluated through strict conditions but still holding its ground.

Being fair about this city

People complain about the Delhi culture a lot. I am currently reading a book (compilation of articles) called 'Single in the City' set in Delhi. The authoress, a bengali, chronicles her experiences as a journalist in Delhi.

Her comments remind me again of the heap of dissaproval that is loaded on the people of this city. Yes, there are some facts that are truly right. But then there are some facts that are localized and could be true of any other city as well.

The facts that hold true, and maybe are very characteristic of Delhi are as follows:

a. People are gruff and impolite: Its true. It is not a city for the light hearted southerner (including bombayites). As soon as you land, straight out of the gate, you are greeted by this careless demeanor by the taxi/autowalla. The shopkeeper, the worker, the passerby - all of them will greet you with an agrresive, no intent of pleasing anyone, undertone.

b. People are sarcastic: Its true. But it keeps you on your toes. I have personally felt that they dont really mean it, its just a style of talking. They almost expect a retort to carry the conversation forward. This is certainly not true of the southern states. The autowalla in Pune would be reduced to tears with such an exchange of words

c. People are showy: I dont think all of them are. Yes, there are a significant numeber of rich people who blow air kisses and address each other as 'darlings' and 'babes'. But then the number may vary from one metro to another (barring Kolkata which has ceased to be a metro anymore) but each city has this section of people. In fact, there is a significant mejority in Delhi who would laugh at your face if they were witness to such a show.

As an individual however, I enjoy the style and dressing-up which Delhites subject themselves to. After all, who doesnt like to walk on a street with good looking, well dressed people on it. As long as I am not required to dress up like it, who cares. I try to dress as well as the average looking person, so as to not push the average down.

The one other than the patient

When you come close to the illness of close-ones, there are several things that come to your mind.

The first is the diagnosis. How to identify the malady and plan the best medical course of action. But when these first steps are taken, you come across the more subtle, next ones.

You then turn your attention to the person who is in the immediate vicinity of the patient. Yes, the suffering of the patient is not in question. But, the immideate caregiver sometimes goes unnoticed. He/She is also mentally burdened by the weight of the situation. If it is a serious disease, then he faces into its eyes almost as much as the patient. Maybe even a little more so, since the responsibility of choosing a sound plan of action is often trusted upon him rather than the sick and weak.

Humans are humans. Yes, even the closest ones are only that. One can only hope that the conditioning through life and the values that one is taught through his formative years will truly come into light in such hardships. Love, affection and moral responsibility are the pillars on which the caregiver's efforts to stand by a patient rest on. Disease breaks the routine and challenges the steady flow of life. It takes strong moral conditioning on his part to keep everything on the side and focus on the job at hand, to stop the unrelenting march of the disease.

Generous with praise

People rarely sway towards the dark side. If it has to be black and white, people indulge in white generously. After all, it is just not politically current to be critical when there is no harm to tell a white lie in the positive.

I cartoon. I am fairly okay but there are big gaps in my skill-set. I am lousy with animals. Most of my cartoons are frontal and I find it a little difficult to go the normal way with a pencil sketch and then bold lines on top, which means a lot of errors and cover ups. However, I am always surprised at the heaps of praise laid on top of me from people who witness my creations.

Why? Well partly because people like me and its nice to compliment something pretty. But, then there are those who are willing to swear by my talent and seem to fall head over heels to my creations. For those people - give it a rest! A polite comment is well taken as it is usually meant - 'Hey Sumit, that looks pretty, hope you become even better at it'. However, heaps of praise mean either of two things - 'Hey Sumit, I have such poor taste that this looks like a masterpeice to me' OR ' Hey Sumit, I just want to be in your good books so I'll call your average creations awesome'. Take your pick, oh you generous with compliments friend(s) of mine.

Meaningless experiences

Meaningless expreiences are like Aspirin. They offer a small dose of pain-relief but dont target the underlying cause of the problem. The pain in this case is equated to boredom. I argue that people should embrace boredom because from it emerges the desire and the strong motivation to do something worthwhile.

I meet many people who profess the desire to do 'something'. But they find it difficult to break free of the routine. Yes, it is difficult since the routine has designed itself to squeeze out free thinking time. The old victorian houses used to have study rooms where men could find solace and meaning in their own throughs. There must have been some wisdom in those setups. Even in the case of the previous generation of ours, there are several men who prefer to come back home from the office and have their hour or two of free thinking (or doing nothing) time.

I currently read a book about the history of cancer, and it is not novel for me to find that many of the pathbreaking discoveries were made by people who obsessed about their work and their passion, woefully neglecting the daily (or conventional) way of life. Many of these people were social misfits, but in a society that rewarded and rewards mediocrity and normalcy. Yes indeed they were misfits, but because soceity and the 'crowd' couldn't understand their interest and passion. The society needs to be kept and a shoe's end and challenged in its belief-systems. One needs to be constantly remind oneself that people are just people, most of them living life as vegetables, going through the motions. It is these vegetables that make social mores. And if you think about it that way, then you wont mind breaking free and missing the seemingly innocuous get-togethers, movie nights, drinking parties, weekend trips and similar such activities which are nothing but the way of the vegetables to run away from their thoughts.

I find life to be very orchestrated, not by me but by forces around me. The insistence of society to get me married and sorted, the push from media to watch sleazy TV, the gimmicks of marketeers to make me adopt hand-sanitizers and the alcohol and the cigarrettes almost as entry tickets to an exclusive club of people. Instead, every choice should be made individually. I dont profess that one stops any of the above mentioned activities; all I argue is that the reason to pursue them should come from within. The same rationale should be put into place when one makes the choice of joining an activity with others or sitting down and enjoying the silence around him ...

A bunch of people for each past-time

As I read the works of great non-fiction writers, I am amazed at their ability to quote great peices of literature that they have read and been inspired from.

It is important to find people that share an interest, otherwise the interest is very likely to wither away. I want to call someone to talk to him/her about a glorious book that I am reading, but the notepad on my laptop will have to be the unglamorous recepient of my thoughts.

Finding people who will like to curl up with a book and a mug of coffee are plentiful. I guess we just need to open our  cards and probably we will find a match.

The only problem is that one needs to differentiate between people who do things and people who want to do those things. Unless you are the kind that wants to educate and enlighten others, the former is the type that you should be looking for.

Same old glorification of solitude !

Ive been here before. Ive been through the waxing and waning desire to be independent, only to succumb to the allure of company and useless chit chat. But solitude is like running. It is a pain to get it started, but give it 20 minutes or so and the endorphins kick in and bliss engulfs you.

The time duration for lonliness' endorphins to kick varies from person to person. Some probably dont secrete it at all. But those do, can experience a lot in the state of bliss.

Once you wade through the cheap thrills of TV sitcoms and streamed movies, you push yourself to watch the gems - the TED talks, the BBC documentaries and world movies. And when you do, you curse yourself for not having done it sooner.

Lonliness allows you to separate what you really want to do and what you think people expect you to be doing. It allows you to fearlessly play hip-hop without a sense of impending ridicule by the hard-rock nuts. Who is to say that these nuts are not supporting a self-fulfilling cascade of glorification for the rock genre?!

Lonliness pushes you to appreciate how music and books fulfil life. How, as you turn each page, you grimace and react, and how the best HD TV in the world, your mind, projects the image in bright colored display. Lonliness reminds you of the songs you used to here long back and urges you to youtube it.

And as is customary, this is not a comprehensive list. However, one of the most important facets of lonliness is that it allows you to think about life, goals and the plan forward ... everyone needs it!

Solitude

We are so afraid to be alone. I guess man is social so being alone is unnatural. Hence maybe its justified to be bad at it and not worry about the fact so much.

But being able to be alone, I mean the kind of alone where you enjoy your meals alone, where you like to sip your coffee alone, where your shopping is alone and even where watching a movie alone is just so much more enjoyable that the burden of company. Yes, considering company as a burden maybe a personal choice but I will still argue that the ones who take company in their stride and prefer it to do everything in pairs or groups give up on so much.

The burden of companionship wastes time. It is unlikely that your plans for a day fit perfectly with someone else's. Right! So to make companionship work, you give up on some tasks to be done another day.

Companionship promotes conformism; it does not allow you to think independently and challenge the system. Lets face it, with acquaintances, one wants to be polite and accomodating thereby putting up a amenable non-challenging demeanor. And with close friends and partners, the best case scenario is most likely an agreement to disagree.

Being able to function independently helps at work too. Offices, especially the big ones have politics intermingled in the system. One tends to gravitate towards groups where one feels better companionship. However, you never know when that group gets into dark waters and when other groups rise up. Being someone who can mingle with all yet stay away from all as well is bound to be beneficial.

The key here is not to be a solitary introvert. People are very important to offload thoughts and have discussions. But at the same time remember that there is a wonderful person that is waiting in line to hear your thoughts too.... You!

Naive ..

Oh I wish I could be young and naive again.

I wish I could listen to my national anthem and feel pride at being an Indian. But I dont. I reflect and realize that its just a country like many others. I reflect and realize that patriotism is a ruse to keep a society involved and controlled. People who know better, if they could, would sell the country and go live in luxury somewhere else.

I wish I could pray and feel pride in being a Hindu. I dont. I realize that it too is just a religion like several others. It too is a medium to keep society in check. Priests, rich pundits and others who know better, will sell off amulets and promises of happiness (Sri Sri Sai Baba). People who know better will sell yoga and move into politics thereafter.

I haven't paid my road tax in AP yet. So every traffic policeman is a potential problem. However, I wish I could beleive in the system and respect the law believing that each traffic policeman feels pride in upholding the law. But I know better. Poor salaries, cheap living and a pestering family is what a policeman returns home too. Is he stopping my car to uphold the law? Are you kidding me? He just wants to get those 200 bucks off me and let me go.

I wish I was more naive ....

Hyderabad Runners

I am trying to find groups that run. I have spent more time cribbing and less time searching it seems.

Hyderabad Runners seems to offer some hope. They run long and hard. However, they run early mornings on Sunday. Which means that you can kiss the saturday night revelries goodbye.

Hopefully I'll be able to forge some friendships and convince a smaller set to run in the evenings, or better still late in the night when you really don't know what to do after work. Yes, I have a job that allows me that luxury, go figure :)

Evenings (contd.) ....

I am sorry. I am on a bus back to my home city of the near future and I cant let go of the topic so easily.

So. What else does one do to pass the countless hours that he gets of spare time? One of them, in his last innings, he had discovered was to spend time with family. The experience is mentally very relaxing and certainly doesn't leave you with the guilt that pursuing some of the other pasttimes may give you. But then, you need to be lucky enough to be in a city where you find some family close by. It is typically not the case :(

There are some who are avid talkers. The absence of the person in flesh does not deter them either. These people spend time talking to others, geography and continent no barrier, over the phone or through skype and chat. And any reasonable, normal person (to which set, unfortunately this bachelor does not belong to) would typically have a set of good friends who love conversation over digital medium. So that is another activity that can be pursued.

Evenings ....

Ok things are much more settled now. Its been two weeks into the job and two weeks setting up stuff at home.

Most of the essentials are in place. The poster remains, the cushion covers remain. But things that make the day go smoothly have been bought. The current cash flow crunch will keep the remaining items out of reach for the near future (aka the fridge and the dining table).

But now that things are settled, the evenings come to bite at you. I cant help but get a feeling of deja vu. I have done something similar 5 years back when I got out of IIT. I may have become older, and more sensitive of the heat and the filth that surrounds me, but the question of what to do in the evenings still remains!

What does one do? Rather what does a bachelor who has gotten out of a relationship do? Women are of no immediate interest. Unfortunately, the bachelor is an Indian, and never had the chance to passionately follow a pursuit, music or arts wise, so there is no hope there.

Yes there are millions of movies to see. But the good ones are unfortunately out of easy reach. The international favorites, the winners of Cannes awards (other than Lagaan and Amelie), the Sundance nominees and similar such thought provoking masterpeices will never be found in the local DVD rental store.

Yes, there are billions of books to be read. But unfortunately for the Indian bachelor, he was not enough of a nerd to live off them completely. He can pick up one to curl up with in the late hours of the evening. However, they cant be the only thing he does to pass his time.

Yes, there are runs to be run, but where does this Indian bachelor find the people who run slow and for hours. Its easy to find the casual runner in our godforsaken 'metros' but how do you find the ones that push themselves. And this Indian bachelor is very picky about them as well. He wants not only them to be able to run for hours, he also wants them to be smart enough to talk to. After all, long distance running is a lonely affair and the company of a sensible, intriguing individual makes all the difference.

Yes, there are tonnes of TV series that are there to be consumed. But this bachelor has a mental block against them. He scoffs at people who come back home excited to watch the next episode of some stupid make-believe series. How will he face himself in the mirror if he becomes one of them?!

Yes, people who know the rants of this bachelor will come back and tell him that he can go ahead and 'learn' something. This is what the bachelor himself suggested to a lot of people when he was at the verge of finishing up his MBA. But, its not as easy as it sounds! There are several barriers to entry. The timings are conducive to the college student but certainly not to a working professional. Then there is thr problem of choosing what to pursue. The choice is very important since it decides whether the person will push himself against the blaring traffic, sweaty painful commute and a tired body to go for that hour long class in the evening.

Of course, the bachelor is leaving out the worthless pursuits that several of his batchmates will eventually conform to. This includes evening dinners and chit-chat under the pretext of exploring the wonderful, oily, filty, overpriced cuisines that the city has to offer.

The bachelor also leaves out the weekend excursions that some of his more adventurous friends may pursue. To this, he does not scoff. But he realizes that travel is actually an excuse to spend hours and hours with a set of friends and enjoy conversation and going-ons. In his experience, the conversations that fill the hours of travelling are actually what people cherish a lot along with the beauty of the destination. Even the beauty of the destination offers ripe material for which another set of conversations can be based on. And if the bachelor is fortunate to have such a set of wonderful friends to begin with, then why would he travel with them far and wide. He would just sit with them in a decent bar and use alcohol as the stimulus of conversation!

Which reminds the bachelor of another lingering grievance, the absence of good, sophisticated places to drink in the Indian 'metros' that dont suck the living daylights out of your wallet! But that is a rant for another day .....

The roads that kill my car

The roads are indeed a killer in India. They are the cause of so many deaths, the sum-total far surpassing major diseases and habits such as diabetes and smoking.

However, they are a killer of cars as well. I own a maruti 800. An old maruti 800. The kind of maruti 800's they used to make in 2004. No power windows, no power steering and no AC. I love my car just as much as the next person which is why it pains me to see how the roads in India kill it slowly and progressively while I watch helplessly.

I do not attempt to be comprehensive since I am bound to miss some silent killers that only a few unfortunate menfolk (womenfolk) cars are exposed to. But the usual offenders are mentioned. The first are the manholes. Imagine a newly paved, beautiful stretch of grey beautiful road and you speeding across it behind another car. You suddenly see it veering to the right and you wonder why. And in a millisecond, you know why as a circular depression, which should be called a 'well' rather than a manhole presents itself, beaming sheepishly at the next victim that is coming its way. Whump!! There go 2 years off my shock absorbers!

Then there are the speed breakers. You dont come across them in the developed nations. Why you ask? Well, since speed limits are very strictly enforced, and people are just more civilized. But in India, we believe that you cant have enough of them. I mean,  plain stretch of road that you can potentially navigate without a single gear change? How boring is that! And the shapes and sizes that they come in are a treat in itself. My maruti particularly enjoys it as they really huge ones gently kiss its underside as I make a failed attempt to gently, slowly, unsuspectingly pass over them. Two years knocked off the chassis!

Amongst the international greats are of course, the potholes. These cancers of the road can appear anywhere and left unattended grow and swell to sizes that are disasterous to the vehicle. They do their best work after a hefty downpour when they are conveniently hidden from the driver's eye under the veil of water. Whump! Splash! Two years off the tyres, shock-absorbers and god-knows-what other parts.

And then there are several more that I don't have the patience or the heart to mention ...

Fun to be a cynic

I am an aspirational cynic. I am not really cynical or sarcastic about most things in reality, but being the devil's advocate for anything and everything that comes my way is fun.

It doesn't win you many friends, but it does a few. And conversation with those few is a pleasure that doesn't seem to have a date of expiration.

I am motivated to write this as I read the 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' again and can't resist a chuckle or a belly laugh every other paragraph. Douglas Adams is a master.

Once you do explore the road of cynicism and sarcasm, you realize that the whole world is your playground. You can be close-minded and argue expecting the other person to prove the validity of his/her point while who chip away at it with imaginative (yet logical) arguments.

Towns where it actually happens

Its the 22nd of May and today is a good day. I arrived in Philly yesterday night and crashed at an old friend's place in center city.

I have done the round of acivities that characterize the day - brushed, showered, had breakfast. And after having done that, I have settled with my faithful netbook to explore the web, stumbling away on nice websites. But, knowledge without context, inforamation without action has its limits. I explored the dinner table to find this cute postcard of a cute theatrical group that performed in Philly recently. I got a paper & pen together to put the inspiration down. And, when done, I did some research, found the email address of the director and sent her the sketch.

I like the developed countries. They remind me of the things that we were taught when we were kids but which we never found to exist when we stepped into the real world. For example, I was taught that you should stop your car and give way to the ambulance or the fire truck. Really!? With the narrow roads and jam-packed traffic, that never happened. I was told tales of this magical place called a library with books that stoke your imagination. Really?! Even if I did find one, never did I find it worth enough to visit twice. And then I remember being taught stories where people were firemen, postmen, actors and painters who co-existed with the doctors and the businessmen (who actually never figured in stories, now that I remember). Really?! Of the 22 years spent at home, I knew absolutely no-one who pursued the above 'alternate' professions.

But these things are not tales of fiction. They happen in reality in the developed countries. Like this theatrical group...

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Characterize yourself ...

I used to think that characterizing oneself is, on the whole, a negative trait. My argument was that it is self restriciting. Imagine for example, someone charaterizes himself as an active sports enthusiast but has failed to charaterize (identify) the fact he also enjoys, let's say, cooking. Then, in times of conflict in even the most mundane activities such as watching the TV, this individual will follow his conviction, and steer towards sports channels, further fuelling the mis-notion that sports is all he likes.

But, I have started to feel that it is not such a bad trait after all. There are a lot of activities in this world to pursue; an abundance of interests. If one spends time sampling each and every one of them, under the belief that he can like them all, then he is in for a very unproductive and shallow set of experiences. It might not be a bad idea to select a few (being careful to choose the most desirable out of the many) and commit to them.

In the social environment we live in, characterizing oneself has tremendous advantages. It opens up doors to office interaction, it enables one to search of activities outside of work (hence prevents loneliness), and in general helps one to live a more focussed and fulfilling life. I wouldn't stretch it if I were to say that if one is lost in a sea of potential suitors, then knowing what your interests are can be a quick filter to identify the ones who are eligible.

Mid life in the bay area

30's are the mid-life crisis years in the bay area.

Its such a comfortable place. No wonder people itch to do something. The comfort is not comfortable. A good house, an assured future, a great car, a great loving family and a community of like-minded, aspirational young people.

All of this by the time you hit the late 20's. All of this is through one's own efforts. But there is more! The environment around you suits you perfectly, almost by design. Large parking spaces to accommodate cars at the CalTrain stations, wide roads, safe surroundings, very very employee friendly companies and a great sunny weather. Eutopia, yes. But the problem is, men (people) dont want eutopia. Men love the itch. And when there is precious little left to itch about, men find ways to create an itch to scratch.

I'll attribute 20% at the minimum to these conditions to the wonderful entrepreneurial environment in the bay area. People just want to scratch!

Lets see if there is anything worthwhile

I sit and think ... these two weeks of vacation are a time to process ...

Its been many years since I grauated ... but now things reach stability ....

I have been spending these years after two pursuits both of which were so important and so oriented towards the long term, that everything else seemed childish and fleeting in comparison - a career and a mate.

As I make strong steps in both these domains, I look at the world to offer me something worthwhile that comes close to them. I have a strong yet untested belief, that the pursuit of a field is probably going to be the most challenging yet the most fulfilling of the options ...

Lets hope that art is able to fill the space that a stable life creates ...

Mountain View - California

I am sitting in a coffee shop (red rock cafe, for those who know) on castro street in Mountain View, CA.

As I sit here, I get the feeling that this town is probably the modern version of a factory town that used to dot the american landscape. I dont intend to typecast the town; these towns are unique and deserve a category of their own. However, as I listen to the buzz of conversation amongst people from different companies discussing about their companies and the current business trends over coffee, I perceive a similarity to the conversations blue-collared workers would have had over beer in the industrial towns of the past.

But, the fact of the matter is that its not. In fact, quite the contrary. I have been told by people familiar with the bay area that these conversations that I talk of above are in fact thoughts and ideas being exchanged, engines for the growth spurt of innovative companies, much different from the blue-collared conversations. In fact, this very coffee shop, with its free internet and no-questions-asked seating space is the birthspot of several of the local startups, some of which might indeed make it big.

Across the table to me, sits a well dressed gentleman, probably waiting to meeta young entrepreneur, intending to to evaluate one of the many such business ideas that might have been developed in a coffee shop similar to this one ...

Data exclusivity

If companies want to enter the US market, they will come across the barrier of exclusivity.

I am not sure which way the wind will finally blow, but currently the debate forbids biosimilar companies to file an application for 4 years from the date of filing of an innovator product. Also, the innovator company gets 12 years of protection only after which any biosimilar product will receive an approval (if its worthy). Over and above that, the innovator can get extensions in exclusivity for another 12 years if it modifies its products reasonably.

However, if the biosimilar company relies on its own data completely to develop its biosimilar product, then it can circumnavigate the 12 year restriction mentioned above. Maybe that is the ploy of companies like DRL which are generating tonnes of data from emerging markets which can be used to file when the patent expiration of the innovator therapies occur in the US.

I hate sweet breakfast

Did I ever mention how much I detest sweet breakfast?!

Why have food habits evolved to leave only the sweet items for the morning meal? Muffins, jam, cereals, oatmeal ... ? If this is supposed to be the most important meal of the day, I would prefer it to be available in all sorts of palatable flavors including salty!

Yes, yes. The toast and the bagel speak up. But they are just sorry excuses for saltiness. What I am talking about is the real deal. The kind of saltiness you find in lunch, in curry, in sandwiches.

Well, I guess its a matter of research and setting up the systems as you become independent ...

Electricity usage in India

I know that electricity is billed but I never got around to getting an approximate understanding of how much it really costs (until now).

Electricity is nothing but energy, so its unit of measurement is a measure of energy. But it is not measured in the standard unit of energy measurement, the Joule. It is instead measured in a roundabout way in kilo-Watt-hour. This is ironically to make life easy for the consumers. And how is that? Every appliance comes with a wattage, a measure of the 'power' it consumes (not the energy). A bright bulb is 100 W. Wattage means the number of energy units it consumes per second. Now, if I keep the bulb on for an hour, the energy consumed is : 100 * 3600 Joules. However, in the roundabout measure of energy, it is very conveniently, 100 Watt-hour (no multiplication :)).

The charges in India for a kWh of electricity is around Rs 2. So if you keep 10 bulbs on for one hour, it will cost you Rs. 2.

to new beginnings .....

I am looking forward to new beginnings. ISB is slowly coming to a close and a stable career (if I let it) is at hand. However, its been 5 years since I graduated and never once have I been at a point where I was stable in thought and action. This is new!

I will not try to be a different person and claim that all this looks exciting and that I cant wait to get started. Cautious optimism is the maximum I will permit myself. Things are looking good and let me not jinx them. If all goes well, I will look back at this year as a life-changer, not just from a career point of view ;)

to new beginnings .....

I am looking forward to new beginnings. ISB is slowly coming to a close and a stable career (if I let it) is at hand. However, its been 5 years since I graduated and never once have I been at a point where I was stable in thought and action. This is new!

I will not try to be a different person and claim that all this looks exciting and that I cant wait to get started. Cautious optimism is the maximum I will permit myself. Things are looking good and let me not jinx them. If all goes well, I will look back at this year as a life-changer, not just from a career point of view ;)

First Impressions at ISB - Goel

As everyone reminisces about the days gone by at ISB, I am posting a few cartoons that I put to paper during those days. This one is dedicated to the variety of 'cartoons' that I used to (and still do) come across in the early morning line at Goel's.

Gentlemen Parachutist

Started off with a simple gentleman holding on to his dinner jacket ... Then came the backpack, and then came the miniature parachute behind his backpack.

The crowd looking up is added for the sake of perspective.

Random doodling in class

This one has no reference whatsoever... the course called 'Indian Financial Systems' requires us to submit the answers of random quizzes on preassigned cards... For me the best use of these cards was to do some good old fashioned doodling

WGCP call frustration

Typical frustration encountered during the long drawn Wharton Consulting project that I an a part of. No particular reference to anyone in the first picture (thankfully). However the be and cartoon would be me smashing the polycon to the wall and jumping on one of our more talkative and 'informative' team members from Wharton. No harm entailed, just pure frustration on to lack of productivity in the conversation worth 1.5 hours of our precious time.

Random windy day...

Another random day when I was trying out my new stylus. Started off with me trying to cover her face elegantly with some hair... then I just got carried away and a lot more hair flying in the air than required... But still its great form to be drawing using the stylus...

A late follow up the Egyptian Revolution

This is what I came up with when I heard about the Egyptian revolution. of course many developments have happened since then, but still, the misbelief that the Army of a country will be fair and impartial in transferring power to the people via democracy is difficult to digest. But of course, I can attribute it to conditioning big neighbors with Myanmar & Pakistan.

Egypt and its uprising for democracy!

I am inspired to contribute my armchair cynicism to the euphoria I See about the egyptian revolution in other parTs of the world. why are we so excited about it any way? Revolutions keep happening in the middle east and similarly in Africa. Why is this one so special? Its not as if new elections are taking place?! The power (in the interim, ha!) has been transferred into the hands of the military! Who is to say that the Country will now, not descend into political anarchy like So may nations do?